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Compromise - A hidden agreement in every relationship

I remember this argument with a senior in college regarding compromises and adjustments in relationships. My argument was “There is no need to compromise or adjust anything in a relationship if both people know each other well”. She said, “ both people have to make compromises if they want to continue in the relationship, It’s an equal effort”.I was so ignorant and arrogant to admit or even consider my senior’s perspective. But then realized what she said when I got into a relationship years later. This happens to many of us. To begin with, many of us don’t know how to choose a partner. We Infatuate and start ignoring the red flags and try too hard to convince the brain that “this is the one”. What happens next is known to everyone.

                                                 Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash

I believe every event in our life teaches us something new. Only those who believe “I know nothing” will see those learning. We must play the role of a student and an observer throughout our lives to see what those events are going to teach us.

When we accept/invite someone into our lives, we unconsciously agree to share a great amount of our valuable time with them. And it’s a compromise. Yes, we are compromising our time. Wondering how. Imagine you found this Man/Woman. After knowing each other you decided to be in a relationship with them. Here what you are offering to your partner is your valuable time. During this time you will show how much you love the other person through your actions. It includes your availability when the other person needs you. Your support may be emotional or financial. Sometimes it’s just a feeling that “there is someone for them”.

Technically both parties invest their time to create something meaningful and long lasting. You can save this time by choosing not to be in a relationship. Again it's your choice. This applies to every relationship, even with friends and families.

Many people put a lot of effort at the beginning and end up doing nothing after a point. In most cases, either one loses interest in the other person or both lose interest. This creates cracks in the relationship. Everything needs constant effort if we want to maintain that in our lives. People who fail to put in that effort destroy what they have.


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